GAHHHH

I can't even make myself do anything except

sit here

thinking about all the other things I could and should be doing

and that makes me feel even worse

so I continue to do nothing but feel awful

and sit

and stare at the wall, or ceiling

and my body just allows this to happen, and maybe even ENCOURAGES IT?!

It like. Hurts to move. Just as it hurts to pity myself for not being... better than this.

And the logical thing to do would be to compromise - body and mind need give a little to get a little.

But NEITHER is budging! And thus, continuing this cycle of sad and tired and sad. Body cushioning these kind of debilitating feelings of loss and GUILT. I FEEL GUILTY ALL OF THE TIME.